Listen, I know I’m over 30, but are you sure it’s too late for me to enroll at Euphoria High School?
On Thursday, noted bicon Megan Fox took to Instagram to show off a new outfit, because celebrities are #justlikeus. Fox consistently knows what the sapphics want, and posted pics of herself wearing a dusky keyhole top (and by “keyhole” I mean the girls are out and proud) along with a matching pair of faux-wrap pants and a lavender purse/heels combo.
It was Meg’s caption that really did the comments section in, though: “If I were the AP Literature teacher at Euphoria High.”
That’s a career change that her fans definitely endorse. “Ok but I’d take your AP Lit class even though I hated my two weeks in AP,” said one commenter with a grin, while another simply wrote “@euphoria cast her immediately.”
As both a former AP student and a card-carrying No Thoughts Head Empty-type bimbo, the hype is real — this woman needs that teaching gig ASAP. Who better than Megan Fox to capture the Euphoria High vibe, where everyone is both in school and somehow also in a nightclub at the same time? Is there any better avatar for a school that’s become an instant meme for being the place to relapse into drug addiction and/or have a soap opera meltdown because you accidentally dressed up like Ado Annie’s even more promiscuous cousin, a school where the dress code apparently reads “students must display cleavage at all times”?
Need we remind you that Meg invented this genre with her wardrobe from the Transformers movies, in which her engine-repairing midriff was a character unto itself? She has to pass her knowledge on to the next generation! And also, books and stuff, I guess. (Whoever this character is, she’d teach the hell out of The Scarlet Letter.)
Fox has been experiencing a career resurgence over the past year and change, what with the cultural reevaluation of Jennifer’s Body and a rumored turn as Poison Ivy possibly in the works. She’s also on people’s minds lately for turning heads with boyfriend Colson “Machine Gun Kelly” Baker — who would himself fit right in as a dude who gets rich selling designer drugs to the Euphoria kids. He could even have a torrid love-hate affair with Fox’s character, who hates what his junk is doing to her students, but loves what his other junk is doing to her on the side.
That one’s free, HBO. Call us, we’ve got ideas.
Get the best of what’s queer. Sign up for them.’s weekly newsletter here.