Culture

I Believe That Marriage Is a Sacred Union


I believe that marriage is a sacred union between two people who decide that one life lived together holds more value than two lived separately.

I believe that marriage is a lasting partnership between one person without health insurance and one person who gets pretty good coverage through work.

I believe that marriage is an unbreakable bond between one person with citizenship and one person who is tired of renewing their visa and living in perpetual fear of removal by the government on the whim of a xenophobic tyrant.

I believe that marriage is an infallible pairing of one person with an O.K. last name, like “Stevenson,” and one person who has to write something like “Dickensheets” on all official documents.

I believe that marriage is an enduring knot tied between one person who Googled “income tax brackets” and realized that being married would cut their joint tax rate by eight per cent and another person who was, like, “Can we get to city hall tonight?!”

I believe that marriage is a holy hand-holding between one person whose family won’t get off their fucking case about it and one person who’s, like, “Jesus, fine. I was going to wait till your birthday, but—here!”

I believe that marriage is a time-defying life braid between one person who was walking by the window of a jewelry store and said, “That’s a nice ring,” and one person who responded, “Oh, do you want it?” and then bought it and joked, “Guess that means we’re engaged,” and the other person said, “Guess so,” and then they just kind of went with it.

I believe that marriage is a never-ending Chinese finger trap between one person who accidentally called their partner “my fiancé” at an office Christmas party and one person who just smiled ominously and said, “No take-backs.”

I believe that marriage is a perpetual milkshake with two straws shared between one person who said, “If we’re not married by the time we’re forty, let’s just marry each other,” and one person who agreed and then turned forty without being romantically attached to anyone.

I believe that marriage is a forever double-kayak piloted by one person, a loner, who walked the streets alone each night, drawing stares and pity from the young and old alike, and one person who rode into town seeking adventure but would soon come to understand that love is the greatest adventure of all.

I believe that marriage is a timeless three-legged race between one person who is under a witch’s spell that keeps them forever unable to leave their secluded tower in the woods until the release of true love’s kiss and one person who hears a beautiful voice while riding through the forest and quickly bestows the prophesied release-kiss.

I believe that marriage is a permanent tandem-bike ride between one person who is next in line to inherit all the land to the north of the great river and one person they’ve never met who boasts the rightful claim to the mountains of the east.

I believe that marriage is a bolted-down two-seater bench between one person who left everything behind after a traumatic event to find themself and start over in a strange city and one person who inhabits that city, makes intricate crafts related specifically to the local terrain, and proves once and for all that we cannot love others until we love ourselves.



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