The Fancy
Pose next to someone at a nice event—maybe it’s a wedding. Is this your life partner or someone you know from college and haven’t seen in five years? Really stir the pot with an ambiguous caption, like “Dynamic duo ;)”
The Oldie
O.K., way back in the time line, you were definitely dating someone. Have you broken up? If you split, would you have taken this photo down? Make sure never to post another couple shot after this one from two years ago.
The Consistent
Post a series of photos of yourself in the same pose next to multiple beautiful people. Are you just friends with lots of hot people? Are you dating one of them? Maybe you’re poly?
The Deadpan
Post a picture of yourself next to someone with the caption “I love my wife.” There is no way of knowing if this is sincere.
The Present Absence
Maybe you’re someone who would never post a couple pic but you’re still part of a committed couple. If you don’t explicitly post a thirst-trap shot captioned “I am single!!!!” then the jury remains out.
The Omnipresent
You sure hang out with this person a lot. Maybe you’re roommates?
The Ring
The two of you took a selfie flashing your wedding rings. The caption briefly synopsizes your relationship, culminating in an incredibly romantic engagement story. It’s probably safe to say you’re in a relationship, but … maybe it’s a very elaborate bit?
