LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Boris Johnson reportedly “freaked out” when he learned that an uninvited Rudy Giuliani had turned up in London to offer him advice, U.K. government insiders report.
Giuliani announced his mission at an impromptu press conference on the outskirts of the city, at an establishment called Claridge’s Total Hedgerows.
“I’m sure Boris will be excited to see me,” Giuliani said. “Who wouldn’t want a little of that Rudy magic?”
Contrary to the former New York mayor’s prediction, the embattled British Prime Minister ordered security personnel at 10 Downing Street to post a photo of Giuliani at the building’s entrance, and to be on alert for any man with black inky liquid dripping down his face.
Giuliani, however, seemed oblivious to Johnson’s state of alarm. “Before I see Boris, I think I’ll hit a few pubs and go on TV,” he said. “Do any of you fellas know how to get to the BBC?”
