Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.
Hello! I’ve got some important updates for you about recent weather predictions made by groundhogs. On February 2nd, immortal groundhog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow upon emerging from his burrow, predicting six more weeks of winter. This year’s Staten Island Chuck, a title borne by a family line of groundhogs who collectively boast a lesser lifespan (but 40% higher accuracy rating) than Phil, did not see his shadow, foretelling an early spring instead. Lady Edwina of Turtle Back Zoo reported her agreement with Phil’s prophesy via her interpreter. And sadly, Fred la Marmotte of Quebec was found dead in his den and therefore unable to fulfill his oracular commitments, but a human child stand-in wearing a symbolic groundhog hat cast a shadow of continuing winter in his place.
But woodchucks aside, the stars also have things to say about our future. This week, Venus makes a move on Uranus, Mars and Chiron strike up an alliance, Mercury dallies with Neptune and Pluto before leaving Capricorn for Aquarius, and the Sun recovers from last week’s Full Moon.
For this weekly horoscope, we’ll start with the sign of the season and spin the zodiac wheel until every sign’s future is predicted! If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Venus, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.
Click here to jump to a sign: Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn.
