None of that really seems to describe Caleb, who from all accounts wanted no-strings sex and lied about being emotionally interested to get his dick wet. Callous? Crude? Absolutely. Abusive? Maybe not so much. It’s kind of like accusing someone of gaslighting you because they once said you were misremembering something.
For all of this, “West Elm Caleb” has had his real name published in major media outlets (to which we will not be linking), roasted online for days on end, and had his name become the new social media synonym for predatory male behavior. But it’s not actually clear if he deserves that level of contempt, or just, like, a regular amount.
While some take the stance that dunking on Caleb is a chance for women to seek accountability, others have wondered if the backlash is outsized, and what that means. “We shouldn’t just excuse men for being jerks; we should be able to expect more from them. I agree!” wrote Buzzfeed’s Katie Notopoulos on Friday. “But the punishment does not fit the crime.” Personally, I’m all for straight women saying “enough is enough” to the men they date, but some amount of perspective on relative harm and the difference between conflict and abuse is still necessary.
Far from being dating’s greatest monster, Caleb and his sorry tale remind me of Mordecai, the slacker blue jay from the animated series Regular Show, who in one episode invites a cute girl he’s been vibing with to the movies only to turn around and give her ticket to another girl he’s actually in love with. The inevitable confrontation leaves Mordecai rightfully shunned by both women, which is about what Caleb should expect from most of the NYC dating pool over the next few months.
We just hope Caleb learns his lesson, stops sending random dick pics to women, and that straights everywhere can find some healing somewhere in this weird Internet kerfuffle. Remember kids, always try to avoid become the main character on social media!
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