Stuart Appleby is good with poo tickets and guns.
Known for his dry sense of humor, the Australian PGA Tour pro wiped away and shot down coronavirus hoarders on Thursday in a video posted to his social media accounts. All in 58 seconds.
First, toilet paper.
“I don’t want to be judged as the one percent of the one percent — the elite. I got a lot of poo tickets sitting there,” the nine-time PGA Tour winner said, pointing to a few packs of toilet paper in his garage. “But depending what I eat, that will last me anywhere from a month to a couple of weeks if I go to the wrong side of the wrong food.”
Next, guns.
“I spoke to a guy who knew a guy who has two other guys he knows, and he basically said, if I got cash, I’m king, no background checks, done. I got a certain location in my house — I won’t tell you where for obvious reasons — but I’d like to show you some of the stuff I got so far,” Appleby said as the camera began to pan left of the poo tickets.
“I got to get some more ammo, but it’s looking good. I got to get some more stuff. That’s just a small sample, but looking good, baby.”
It was a stack of Nerf guns.
