Also, just given the political climate, I think it’s time to speak out. I fear for our country. I fear for how our country treats its citizens and I fear for how our citizens treat each other. It’s a larger problem than just legislation. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just started with art.
Many of these songs seem very purpose-driven — from the clear Trump callouts on “45” to the body positivity message on “Learn to Love” and the pushback against homophobia on “Open Letter.” How do you come up with the ideas for them?
I don’t go, “Oh, this is going to be a political song,” or, “Oh, this is going to be a song about homophobia and Black men that live in Harlem.” I just write whatever I experience when I walk outside. However I’ve been beaten up, figuratively. However I’ve moved through the world. Even now, having gone to the gym for a little bit and knowing that I’ll never be a size 30 or whatever. I just write about it for myself. It’s like journaling — I make sure that I get whatever it is that I’m carrying out of my system. Then I go to revisit it and I think, “Is this specific to you, Tituss, or is this specific to America, or is this specific to young Black gay men, or is this specific to white people?” Then I figure out who needs to hear it and go, okay, well this is something more than one of your little journal entries. This isn’t a song you’re just going to push to the side. And I move forward from there.
This album was described as being your “deepest and most soul-searching.” Was there something specific that inspired you to open up at this particular moment?
It had a lot to do with my grandmother. I never got a chance to mourn her properly. She’s been gone now for almost 17 years, but when she first died, my mom got really sad and I had to spring into action and sort of coax her back to life. Ever since, I had been in survival mode. When you’re in survival mode, you don’t feel — you just exist and try to stay alive as best as you know how. So I tried everything I could get my hands on. I was drinking everything I could get my hands on and drowning it all in work, in substances, in sex. I was detaching myself from it as much as I could for fear that dealing with the emotions would all be too much.
Well, in as much time, the world changed radically. I was horrified at the way we were treating each other, the way we were treating ourselves, and the way the government was treating us. So I figured that if I was going to attack these issues head-on at the rest of the world, it was time that I had to deal with my own stuff. So the album was me saying, “Oh shit, let me fucking say it. Let me walk through it and get inside it.” Because my fear for the world at large is much greater than my fear of my own feelings.
Where did the name Saint Tituss come from?
