The story presents a worst-nightmare scenario of secret love. Considering what rights or recognition same-sex partners have in case of emergency has been a driving factor toward civil protections and, ultimately, marriage equality. Studies have shown that same-sex couples devote more attention to end-of-life planning than heterosexual partners, due in part to fears of discrimination or exclusion.
Directed by Filippo Meneghetti, the film is suffused with quiet heartbreak. What if these women had the courage to live as they chose for all those years and to be honest with their families? What if they hadn’t deferred their dreams until it was nearly too late? Sukowa’s devastating performance takes on the full weight of these questions, as her character acts on instinct and lays claim to their relationship. Though there’s less to look forward to than they had hoped, there’s no looking back, either.
Where Two of Us mines potential tragedy, a recent movie out of Spain spins a similar setup into broad comedy. So My Grandma’s a Lesbian!, which came to Netflix in December, depicts two small-town abuelas (played by Rosa Maria Sardà and Verónica Forqué) who’ve also secretly been together for years, and are likewise ready to take the next step in their relationship. The difference is they find the courage to come out to their loved ones and announce they’re getting married. They push back against objections from their kids and grandkids with lines like, “Get with the program, it’s the 21st century!”
Though a totally different kind of movie than an awards contender like Two of Us, So My Grandma’s a Lesbian! takes on the very same predicament — of two older women hiding a lifelong relationship from their family — and imagines how it could all go right in the end. The movie’s many absurd touches serve its social message. One of the grandmas seems to have a direct line to the Pope, who’s given her his blessing to marry. And somehow, this countryside pueblo has a robust corps of paparazzi interested in the couple’s rumored nuptials.
Spain was one of the first countries to legalize same-sex marriage, back in 2005, but a recent rise of far-right political voices has called the country’s LGBTQ+ rights and protections into question. Given its rural setting, So My Grandma’s a Lesbian! feels overtly instructive to a more conservative audience, with pat lessons of tolerance and acceptance wrapped inside silly, playful comedy. As its title suggests, the film is somewhat more interested in the younger generation’s point of view, and the movie’s ultimate lesson is for them: Follow your heart and don’t bother worrying what other people think. Life, especially from their grandmothers’ vantage point, is short.
