Seeing the engagement photos of a college classmate who friended you after you both auditioned for a student production of “West Side Story”—and who is now marrying the guy who ended up beating you out for the role of Tony.
Regretting friending your tenth-grade English teacher right after graduation—and right before his divorce (how has it still not been finalized?).
Discovering which childhood friends seem to be a little bit pro-cop.
Wondering if your uncle, who is allegedly quite high up at Citigroup, really has nothing better to do than comment all day on viral posts like “Ruin a Movie by Adding ‘Moist’ to the Title.”
Admiring the jawline that earned Zambia the Hottest Delegate superlative at the 2010 Cornell Model U.N. Conference.
Discovering which childhood friend unequivocally supports cops.
Fearing for the future cardiac patients of the guy known in high school as “Four Loko Joe,” who these days strikes a remarkable balance between posting debauched rager pics (you didn’t even know people still partied like that in their late twenties) and heartfelt screeds about how difficult yet fulfilling his medical internship is.
Introducing you to your newest baby cousin, conceived and born during the pandemic, who someday you may even get to meet in person.
Wondering how, out of twelve hundred friends, you seem to be the only one who isn’t either starting or finishing grad school this year.
Discovering which childhood friend is now a cop.
