Tesla Tequila Is Not The Weirdest Product Ever Made By The Auto Industry

Drinking and driving don’t mix. However, after Telsa Tequila was released to the public in early November and sold out within hours despite retailing for $250 per bottle, it certainly makes one wonder if the marketing mix isn’t that crazy after all. Maybe even more curious is whether or not 2020’s tequila, face shields and ventilators are the oddest products ever produced by automotive companies. So in an effort to facilitate the hyperbole discussion of the craziest overall product in automotive history, here are the nominees from each brand family.

BMW

Maybe the BMW watch? Maybe the BMW bobsled for the 2022 Olympics? Some might even suggest the WWI aircraft engines, which truly aren’t that crazy since embedded, systems engineering and rigorous, functional safety are mainstays of both the aerospace and automotive industries. Nevertheless, with all of those products as certain contenders, possibly the most unique product to BMW were railway brakes, produced in 1918 since mass-produced aircraft engines were no longer needed after the war and they hadn’t yet bought the automotive portion (and namesake) of their business empire.

Daimler

Being possibly the most aligned to strictly automotive of all the manufacturers during its illustrious history, Daimler’s most outlandish product might be its “rolling childcare and activity center” called MyBus, manufactured by Daimler Truck’s subsidiary, Thomas Built Buses. However, this is truly just another unique vehicle designed to the user experience needs of its primary persona, so not that odd. Therein, Daimler’s nomination is its 60,000 pounds of organic vegetables that it produces annually from an urban farm in Brazil.

Fiat Chrysler

Just after World War II, Chrysler established a Missile Division to serve as the prime contractor for the Redstone Arsenal – a U.S. Army manufacturing facility — and built an engineering campus in Huntsville, Alabama. For Redstone, Chrysler build the PGM

GM
-19 Jupiter, a 10,000 mph intermediate range ballistic missile (IRBM) that was, in fact, an early predecessor to the modern-day nuclear missile. Obviously, that’s significantly faster than a Jeep.

Ford

In 1961, Ford bought Philco in order to jumpstart its Electronics Division — which it mostly spunoff over the next forty years (e.g. Visteon

VC
) — and while it owned this pioneer of electronics it built and sold a number of interesting products ranging from radios to transistors to televisions. Possibly the most unique was a reverse-osmosis water purification system that desalinated polluted water for utilities and municipalities.

General Motors

In 1930, GM bought the Electro-Motive Corporation and Winston Engine and for twenty years it built diesel-powered locomotives. The same engines were, in fact, used for submarines and military destroyer ships during World War II. Also in the 1930’s, GM orchestrated a conspiracy to buy out urban streetcars and kill them off in order to bolster its bus and train production. Ironically, GM doesn’t make locomotives or buses anymore, while streetcars are on the rise. All of that said, probably the oddest thing that GM manufacturers are bat houses made from recycled Chevy Volt battery covers. “We’ve worked with renowned bat experts on our bat house design …,” said Emily McDonald, environmental engineer for GM. 

Honda

Some people might nominate the UNI-CUB, an electric unicycle that acts like a mini-Segway for a sitting user, however given Honda’s history with cycles it seems like a semi-natural fit. Absolutely less correlated to an automotive manufacturer would be its Stride Management Assist, which is a therapeutic apparatus for ambulatory issues. It attaches around the waist and thighs, supports walking and sends tracking data via Bluetooth for medical monitoring. Again, if you don’t like that nominee, they do robots, electric generators and a few other non-automotive products.

Hyundai

Ocean freighters? Rolled steel? Constructed highways? Department stores? Bullet trains? Hyundai Group has had many ventures over the years, but maybe the farthest afield from automotive was the residential plumbing pipes where they led in both polybutylene (PB) and polypropylene (PP) piping over the past few decades.

Lamborghini

Yes, Lamborghini is technically part of the VW/Audi group (below), but this brand needs its own space in this article. An easy nominee might have been the Lamborghini speaker that costs over $21,000 and is built from vehicle parts, but rather the craziest, non-automotive product might now be the Lamborghini Bodyfriend, a massaging chair that provides a variety a head-to-toe relaxing experiences for the low, low price of $30,000. For the 0.1% who own a few Lamborghinis, maybe a matching massage chair is the perfect fit for his/her home theatre.

Nissan

Imagine the long lines at the Secretary of State or other municipalities and, instead of standing through hours of mind-numbing tendium, you can relax in a semi-autonomous, caravanning chair. The Nissan ProPILOT chair automatically follows the lead chair until it reaches the front, and then cycles back to the end of the queue. This might be an investment for any [cash-strapped?!] government agency with predictably long lines or, maybe instead, they could just hire another operator and decrease the length of the line.  

Toyota

Might the nominee be the Lexus Sport Yacht, which hosts twin V8 engines and 885 horsepower en route to 49 mph (or 43 knots)? Or maybe their sewing machines, which have been complimentarily reviewed (in sexist fashion) by stating, “This is really the best option, both for professional seamstresses and for beginner needlewomen.”? That said, probably Toyota’s oddest production items are its earthquake-resistant, prefabricated houses. “Toyota prefab homes are available in about 12 different styles – ranging from the Smart Stage design … starting at $200,000, to the luxury, custom-built Espacio Square… with a price tag of around $800,000.” 

Volkswagen

If someone said VW produced the most popular product of its kind in Germany, the listener would assume she was discussing vehicles. Possibly true, but Volkswagen produces 6.7 million “currywurst” – a grilled bratwurst smothered in an emulsion of curry powder and ketchup – which ranks as one of Germany’s most popular foods. They are so popular, the 70 million square-foot plan in Wolfsburg employs 60,000 employees, and a package of five sausages with the ketchup sells for approximately $10. And if automotive sausage doesn’t seem odd enough, there’s always the Bugatti Hookah pipe, which retails at approximately $100,000.

And the Winner Is …

It’s hard not to pick the nuclear missile. A product that destroys way more than someone’s liver seems like it should leapfrog the tequila. Plus, the monkey is just too cute.