OSAKA (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after watching the second night of Democratic Presidential debates, a reportedly shaken Donald J. Trump wrote a check to the campaign of former Vice-President Joe Biden.
Trump took a break from the G-20 summit to watch the Thursday-night contest and emerged from the viewing “ashen and trembling,” one G-20 colleague said.
Later, Trump was overheard trying to enlist Russian President Vladimir Putin to support the Biden 2020 effort.
“Please, you’ve got to help Joe. He’s in trouble,” Trump pleaded with the Russian.
“Stop being such a baby,” Putin reportedly snapped.
