Since my London home was broken into last year, I have become even more security conscious. But is the money I’m spending to protect my properties well spent?
According to the stats (which seem rather vague) there are on average 300,000 burglaries every year in the UK. However, 95 per cent of all break-ins remain unresolved — mine being one of them.
Luckily, my insurer paid up, but that was the only good thing about the whole sorry experience. Since then, I have spent thousands beefing up our home security systems in the hope of avoiding a repeat visit.
Then there’s the kerfuffle of looking after all of these devices, remembering all the codes and keeping track of the keys and fobs. It’s not as if you bung on a window lock and you’re done. There are cameras to think about, alarm systems to be fitted and monitoring and service contracts to be put in place. And then there’s the option of security gates.
The problem with having electric security gates at the end of your drive is that most people will think you’re a bit of a male chicken for having them. On both my London property and my seaside residence, electric gates were already installed when I purchased (that’s my excuse).
Honestly? They have been nothing but trouble. The remotes use batteries that are impossible to find in most high street shops (12-volt camera ones if you’re interested). If they run out — as they frequently do — you had better remember the manual override code. And you will need a PhD in computer science if you want to “pair” them with your car. How can I do my Batman impersonation if the gates won’t open automatically on arrival?
The problem last weekend was more basic. I had thought the whole point of security gates was to keep people out — not to keep them in.
I was in a bit of a rush; the car was ready to go; the dog was settled in the back of the electric SUV; and a sushi lunch for four was neatly packed into a cool bag for the 90-minute drive to Frinton-on-Sea.
It’s a long story as to why I have turned into a Deliveroo driver, but the short answer is that despite having zillions of riders in town, neither they (nor sushi) have yet reached the coast.
This was deemed the best food choice for an al fresco lunch to celebrate the move from total to partial lockdown with our neighbours — along with a few bottles of English fizz, of course.
Anyway, press as I might on the remote, there was no sign of life from the gates. It wasn’t the battery, the power was on and they definitely worked the other day. So now what?
No amount of fiddling would get them to budge. With visions of the sushi slowly cooking in the boot, I took a bit of a liberty. The former owner of our London home was most receptive when I telephoned for help.
Apparently, there’s a bespoke sprocket key that unlatches the gate from the mechanism, which he had very kindly left for us inside the house. Marvellous — but when I went to fetch it, it wasn’t there.
Of course, the other third (I am still on a diet trying to become the other half) had moved it to a “safe place”. After scouring the house I found a whole host of things I’d been missing for ages, and made a mental note of the new “safe place” location.
The gates unbolted, I was free to escape, but now had to find someone to fix them. Meanwhile, at the other end of my journey, the security gates in Frinton haven’t worked since lockdown began. Should I get them fixed too? It’s just one bill after another!
A few days later, a technician someone had recommended turned up to fix my London gates. He diagnosed the problem as a slug that had made its way into the mechanism housing and slimed on to the circuit board, causing an electrical short (ugh). The slug frazzled and the board was blown.
One circuit board and £150 later (plus VAT) and the gates are working again — unofficially. I’m told that my electric gates are not health and safety compliant and need a more thorough overhaul. Due to some rather nasty accidents involving children, such devices are a risk and new rules apply. It’s incumbent upon fitters and suppliers to ensure they comply, and they won’t work on your gates again if they aren’t upgraded.
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Gates must stop if pressure is applied on them should something get in the way. They need two sets of sensors either side that stop the gates from opening if blocked, and rubberised protectors around the hinges to prevent hands or small arms being trapped. That will be £1,750 (plus VAT) to get them serviced and HSE ready.
As for the other, somewhat older, set in Frinton, I was quoted £4,500 plus VAT to fix them. Is it really worth it? I think it’s time to go “gates to manual” and use the money for some lovely new garden furniture instead.
According to no one but electric gate manufacturers, security gates add value to a property. Five per cent, they say — but I don’t buy it. As a security measure, given that cars are so easy to steal these days, they’re probably a good thing to have, at least in an urban location.
But my security expenditure is getting out of control. After the burglary last year, I spent over £8,500 on new security measures. That included a monitored alarm system, new locks and access system, better security cameras and a monitoring service. Will any of this expenditure, let alone the ongoing monitoring costs at well over £1,000 a year (plus servicing) stop us being burgled again?
Most modifications we can make to our ivory towers don’t resolve the problem — they just make it more difficult to break in and, as I have experienced, a determined burglar will get in anyway.
But it does give you peace of mind. And you know what else is worth every penny? The security cameras. Not so I can see who burgled my house but so I could prove beyond doubt to a delivery company that their driver threw a “missing” parcel over the garden gate.
James Max is a radio presenter and property expert. The views expressed are personal. Twitter: @thejamesmax
