Culture

Queer Teens Now: This 17-Year-Old Is Growing Up Right On Time


In a number of new films and shows, from the independent films Saint Frances and This Is Not Berlin to the HBO hit Euphoria, characters inhabit worlds where queerness is more than just common and present — it’s assumed. Increasingly, queer characters, especially teenaged ones, don’t have to come out explicitly on screen; their identities are treated with nonchalance by others in their lives. I asked Rio whether this phenomenon reflected the experience of her and her friends, and she said it doesn’t. Rio came out two years ago, when she was 15, and it definitely took some time for her to feel comfortable, grapple with her own mental health, and for her parents to come around.

“It took a lot of late night talks and [my mom] asking questions about this community to get to where we are now,” she says. “As for my dad, someone from a more conservative background, it’s still a little difficult today; but I’ve seen him open up and really try to listen when my mom and I are talking about LGBT issues or things going on in my life.”

In some ways, Rio is your average teenager. The entering high school senior is a dedicated athlete (cross-country and track) and music fan (she loves Broadway and queer artists like Mitch Grassi, Brandi Carlile, Fletcher, and Hayley Kiyoko). But in other ways, her experience is far from average; Rio says she attends a highly competitive, “high-stress” school that’s structured like a college, in that students choose a concentration to study. She’s in the business academy, and has noticed that many of her out, queer peers study theater or art, a sense of separation that worries her. But many older queer people would be astonished to hear she has out peers in high school at all. What’s even better? Rio has actually had a chance to date.

“The first time I went out with a girl, I was too nervous to realize it was a date until she later told me that she thought it was,” Rio tells me. “I wasn’t entirely sure she liked girls, so when she agreed to hang out, I remember trying to plan everything out and make sure that we had fun things to do all day; when we became closer, she ended up telling me that she would’ve been fine just walking around, but she knew I’m the kind of person that needs a plan.” (Yep, sounds like a first date with a girl to me.)

Calling Rio “wise beyond her years” feels reductive, because teenagers are smart, articulate, and often more empathetic than many adults. Still, she exudes a sense of maturity and eloquence that surprised me. It took me a long time to start learning from my mistakes as a baby gay. Rio seems extremely perceptive, and has already absorbed a well of dating knowledge.

“With previous guys or ‘boyfriends,’ I was often in my head thinking about what I was supposed to be doing or how I was supposed to act or what I was supposed to say,” she tells me. “But being with a girl reminded me that it’s all about being with someone who you truly enjoy being around and you want to spend time with.”

Courtesy of Rio Matsumoto



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