ATLANTIC CITY (The Borowitz Report)—In a possible indication of Donald J. Trump’s continuing hold over the G.O.P., a new poll shows that ninety per cent of Republicans would book rooms at the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City.

Of those polled, a broad majority “strongly agreed” with the statement “The Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino offers the finest lodgings in the United States.”

Additionally, those surveyed characterized any reports suggesting that the Trump property would be less than an ideal place to stay as a “hoax.”

At the United States Senate, the Republicans Ron Johnson, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, and Josh Hawley announced that they had just booked rooms at the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino, which has emerged as the front-runner to host the 2024 Republican National Convention.

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