D.I.Y. Air
This no-frills airline gets you where you want to go, so long as it’s in or around Belarus. You’ll also need to bring your own food, seat cushion, oxygen mask, and, for those flying in basic economy, flight crew. This crafty airline further cuts costs by occasionally allowing passengers to help out with basic tasks—like repairing the wing that will definitely come apart mid-flight.
Newark Air
An affordable option for those flying into New York City. The ticket price unfortunately does not include cab fare from Newark Airport into Manhattan, which will cost you more than the flight itself.
Dunkelhansa
This German airline is popular for its cheap flights to Europe and keeps its fares low by hiring philosophy grad students as flight attendants. Snack-and-beverage services have been replaced by conversations about nihilism. Your seat-pocket reading is just a mirror with which to face your own existential dread as you realize that air travel will never be both cheap and comfortable. (No Wi-Fi.)
Patreon Air
You pay what you can per month. In-flight entertainment is a newsletter that your friend writes semi-regularly and that you’re also paying a hundred dollars a month for.
Rx Air
Owned by a massive pharmaceutical company, Rx Air offers luxury amenities and nonstop flights for less than a hundred dollars. By purchasing a ticket, passengers have implicitly consented to participating in clinical drug trials. Rx Air is the only airline that has given canine flu to humans along with first-class seats at economy prices. Enjoy that extra legroom (if you can still feel your legs after all the injections)!
Three Kids in a Trenchcoat Airlines
A low-cost air service that’s part of the Southwest Airlines family. The flights are so cheap because all of the employees are just three kids stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat. (You must pay extra for luggage.)
Amazon Prime Air
Same-day arrival guaranteed. There is no first class or even an economy class, because you’ll be riding in a cargo plane with Amazon Prime packages and also delivering the packages. Oh, and you’re an Amazon employee now. There is no food or water on board, but you will get to watch all episodes of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” for free (only if you sign up for Amazon Prime).
Jet Zoo
This pet-friendly airline provides exceptional service to humans and wild animals. You’ll love the expansive seats and Noah’s Ark atmosphere. Check in early or your seatmate will be a hungry Siberian tiger.
Karaoke Air
You pay extra for food and drink, but all karaoke song requests are free. And, although the fuel-efficient aircraft gets you to your destination on time, your flight will feel twice as long when you hear “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” for the twentieth time in a row.
Fly Bieber
Justin Bieber hasn’t produced a single in a while, because he’s been too busy learning how to fly a plane. Flights are surprisingly entertaining, and you can see this airline lasting a very long time in the industry, despite what the haters say.
Oceanic
It’s the airplane from the TV show “Lost.” Flights seem to take forever, and it often feels like the pilots have no idea where they’re going. In the end, you’ll find out you were just in purgatory the entire time. But, on the plus side, easy-to-navigate Web site!
Air Bud
Ain’t no rule says a dog can’t fly a plane.
