'My husband didn’t want to come home when I gave birth – he didn’t even ask for a photo'

A 29-year-old new mum was gutted when her husband missed the birth of their baby after he decided to visit his daughter from a previous relationship when she was set to give birth

Mum holding baby
The mum-to-be was so upset her husband went away before the birth (stock image)

An upset new mum has taken to Reddit to write her frustrations about the birth of her daughter, which wasn’t quite the experience she hoped it would be.

The 29-year-old was so frustrated about what her husband did, she headed online for advice from fellow Redditors.

She explained that her 32-year-old husband has a 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship who participates in competitive fencing.

The original poster said they have a good relationship with her, despite the fact she lives with her mum, her husband’s ex, but she ‘hangs out’ with her a lot.

Her husband wanted to go and see his daughter in a fencing competition, but the mum-to-be was worried – as she was 39-weeks-pregnant and due any moment.

The new mum was due any moment, but her husband went away anyway (stock image)

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She suggested that as an alternative they send a gift, but he was insistent he wanted to fly to see his daughter, reassuring his wife that she would be ‘fine.’

As a ‘compromise’, he suggested her best friend stay with her whilst he was gone, just in case she gave birth during his time away.

The original poster said she felt ‘awful’ and ‘selfish’ for asking him not to go, but she felt ‘terrified’ to give birth without him.

She gave birth on the Wednesday evening before her husband came back, via emergency C-section – and only managed to get in toucha after their daughter was born.

The new mum only managed to get in touch with her husband after their baby was born

The horrified mum wrote: “Once he knew she and I were healthy and fine he didn’t want to fly back.

“He said we were fine now and the competition still hadn’t happened so there was no point in upsetting his daughter, and he’d be flying back on Friday anyway.

“I was worn out and numb at this point so didn’t even argue, though my friend called him every swear word she could think of.

“What hurt the most though is that he didn’t ask for a single picture of our daughter, or to Zoom to see her.

“On Friday morning he told me he’d be missing his flight back as he felt under the weather and he didn’t want to risk it being covid and bringing it back, I admit this kind of broke me a little and when I asked him if he didn’t want to come home he told me I was being ridiculous.

“At this point, I had enough and told him to come back whenever he felt like it but I’d be staying with my friend with the baby when I get out of hospital as I needed to think about some things.

“She had been trying to get me to come to stay with her anyway so I knew it’d be fine with her. He simply told me that was fine and to come back when I’d stopped my hissy fit.

“Not once has he asked to see our daughter, or even showed concern for either of us following the emergency C-section.

“I grew up in care, and a mother alone is better than no one and I know that firsthand I’m not going to try and make things work just for her sake.

“So yeah, that is where I am at right now – in a whole lot of pain emotionally and physically but I have my little girl in my arms.

“I’ll likely be talking to some lawyers soon to ask what to do going forward.”

Other Redditors were horrified at the story, and said what he did was ‘jarring.’

One irritated user commented: “I’d probably dump someone solely for calling my completely justified emotions a ‘hissy fit’.”

Another said: “Imagine being overdue and your husband is not treating you and the birth of a child as a priority.

“The abandonment and the betrayal.”

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