'My husband acts differently when his son comes over – it makes me so insecure'

A wife is concerned that she’s being ‘insecure’ over the way her husband acts around his son from a previous marriage, feeling that he acts as though ‘only his son matters to him’

Family conflict and problem between father and mother arguing in bed room
The wife isn’t happy (stock photo)

Starting a family with someone who has already had children with a previous partner can be a wonderful thing, with their knowledge and expertise coming in very useful indeed when it comes to nappy changing and late-night feeds.

However, such set-ups can also lead to some challenging and emotionally charged situations along the way, as one conflicted new mum has learned all too well.

A woman and her husband, whose marriage was arranged by their families, have a five-month-old baby together and should be enjoying these precious early months as a family together. However, she is struggling to deal with the way her other half acts when his son from a previous marriage comes over to visit.

She feels her husband is a ‘changed man’ around his son


Getty Images/iStockphoto)

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Taking to Netmums, the wife revealed that her husband is a “changed man” when his son comes over for his twice-yearly visits, acting as though “only his son matters to him”.

She claims that, during these times, “he doesn’t notice me” and “sometimes it seems like he only cares about his son’s feelings”, forgetting to hug and kiss her or show any of his usual affection.

During these visits, the wife makes sure to give father and son space to spend time together and sometimes joins them in their activities with their young baby. At times when her husband isn’t there, she herself will play with the boy, who she says loves his little half-sibling.

Although the woman “completely understands his love towards his son”, who she describes as a “good boy”, she does feel somewhat frustrated by the way her husband changes around him.

Seeking advice from fellow mothers, she said: “He needs to balance but he forgets. I feel like I am the one who just fills my husband loneliness and pain when his son is not around him. If I tell my husband about my feelings he gets angry or ignores me. I like his son but why do I feel so insecure?”

Various users have come forward with some pearls of wisdom, with one mum suggesting that her husband might feel ‘awkward’ about showing “love and affection to you with his son around”.

Another woman navigating a similar issue sympathised that she understood the “frustration and the feeling of being like a potted plant”, suggesting that her husband might just be getting “carried away at the joy of meeting” his son, who he only sees twice a year.

Have you struggled with similar issues in your relationship? Let us know in the comments below.

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