Culture

More Haikus from My Parents’ House, One Year In


You’re still here .  . like a
Ghost but more pale and less thin.
Still haunting though, ha!

Your brother’s girlfriend
Got vaxxed! Too bad it can’t fix
A bad attitude.

Do you ever feel
Like we are trapped together?
That’s a trick question.

New Ken Burns is out!!!
“The Roosevelts” was too blue.
But Ken’s a rebel.

Caroline, tell us
Is “stimmy” a dance or an
App? We hate new words.

Sue lost her sense of
Taste. But can you even lose
What you never had?

Here’s my dough starter.
That’s my dough ender. I am
Pointing at your dad.

Our new thing is “not”
Jokes. Example: We will let
You leave the house. NOT.

I threw out your phone.
If I don’t protect your eyes,
Tell me this: Who will?

Time for dinner with
Your roommates, a.k.a. best
Friends, a.k.a. us!!!

Let’s play board games, say
Mean stuff that’s too personal,
Then silent reflection.

Knock, knock! Just kidding.
We have way too much love for
Boundaries. Too much.

Your grandma is on
The phone weeping because you
Still have no children.

Open floor plans are in!
We could knock down your door,
You’ll never be alone!

Back then, a house cost
A buck, car a dime, and a
Nickel cost a cent!

You want to leave us?
Back to the city? But why?
You’ve always been here!

Let’s watch a film, R-
Rated. We will cover your
Eyes, make you regret.

Can you do a quick
E-mail for me? “Yes, still sad,
Still single.” And send.

Looks like maybe you’re
Crying quietly. Can I
Come in and talk loud?

Blah, Alan Alda,
Blah, blah, blah, Alan Alda,
Alan Alda, blah.

Who are you talking
To on phone in hushed tones? There
Are no secrets here.

Did you hear? Coughing
Gayle is better! Now she’s just
Bitchy Gayle again.

Would you like to sit
Between us and think about
Where it all went wrong?

We love you. We don’t
Care that you’re single. You can
Go and be free. NOT.



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