We’ve all been there. You’re slaying a macabre duet with your professional dance partner on national TV, when you nail the finale and get caught up in the moment. Next thing you know, her arm is dangling from your gaping maw because you bit it clean off. Oops! That’s gonna leave a mark.
Really, JoJo Siwa did what any of us would have in her latest Dancing With the Stars performance, a cultural reset of the most devastating kind. In a Pennywise costume that we can still see when we close our eyes, the Nickelodeon star executed another show-stopping pas de deux with partner Jenna Johnson, who made little Georgie Denbrough from It look positively high fashion in a hooded yellow slicker.
I passed the real Pennywise pouting behind a sewer grate during my commute this morning and found him sucking his thumb in disgrace. The sooner he can accept that his reign of terror is over, the quicker Siwa can achieve her inevitable ascent to total cultural dominance. To say we’d love to see it would be to risk stating the obvious.
Siwa’s track record of excellence has only accelerated since she came out as queer earlier this year. Sure, she and girlfriend Kylie Prew are relationship goals. But Siwa has also set an example for how to be an out queer person in the world by standing up to homophobic trolls, pushing back against the network that pays her many millions of dollars, and insisting that Christmas be even more gay than it already is.
Siwa has continued to make waves as the first DWTS contestant to dance with a same-sex partner, performing a series of jaw-dropping numbers including an Argentine tango to Britney Spears’ “…One More Time.”
Best of all, rather than terrify — and pretend to eat — children, like the killer clown she played on TV this week, Siwa wants to be a role model for young fans. “What I love to do is make truly being who you are easier for kids,” the rainbow devotee said ahead of her first DWTS performance.
Has it all been a big long con for Siwa to gnaw off arms on national television? Perhaps. But honestly, we’d let Siwa feed on our flesh if it gets her closer to world domination.
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