Would I have seen any of the fires you’ve put out anywhere? Local news, maybe?
Ha. I bet you’re turning this conversation into a marketing campaign right now, aren’t you?
Keep at it—you’re on the right track. One day, that toilet will be unclogged, and I’ll be proud to say that I knew you.
How did you get your job, if you don’t mind my asking? I couldn’t even get an internship. I’ve heard it’s all about who you know. Isn’t your dad’s friend the head of sales at State Farm? Must be nice.
No, I don’t have a ton of experience representing people in court, but I’ve seen “The Good Wife,” and my mom once told me that I’d do a better job negotiating her divorce settlement than her idiot lawyer. (She got the house, but my dad got a new girlfriend, which I don’t actually think was the lawyer’s doing.) Anyway, how hard could it be?
I bet it’s really annoying when people just show up and tell you how to fly a plane. I would never do that. I’m just saying—it must be annoying when other people do. If they somehow strong-armed their way into the cockpit.
If you have some time, would you mind looking over my taxes? I’d pay you, but this is fun for you, right?!
You’re a social worker? Sounds like somebody has a trust fund.
It’s sweet that you followed your passion into supply-chain management! But what do you do for money?
Would you read this X-ray for me? I just did it quickly late last night, and it’s probably nothing, but I’d love your thoughts. Oh, it’s in the body of my e-mail. Or should I text it to you?
No, I will not pay you to invest my retirement portfolio for me. Do you know how many kids on TikTok would do it for free?
It’s cute that you have a job that isn’t really a job. I’m jealous. I also sometimes wish I didn’t think about the future. You should really enjoy this time in your life, because someday—when you have a family and a mortgage and all of that grownup stuff—you’ll look back on these years and think, Aw, I’m glad I at least gave being President of the United States a shot. Even though you knew, in your heart of hearts, that it was never something you’d turn into a career. It’s fun to be young and free!
Unrelated: Can I send you my short film? I think it’s quite good. I can see it doing well at Sundance.
