‘I won’t move baby shower for sister-in-law’s graduation – she should compromise’

A woman has refused to postpone her baby shower after realising it’s on the same day as her sister-in-law’s graduation, as she says her relative needs to compromise

A group of women celebrating a baby shower. Each of them is holding a large alphabet block, with the four of them spelling out the word 'baby'.
The mum-to-be tried to come up with a solution, but her sister-in-law wouldn’t budge (stock image)

Setting a date for an important event is always a nerve-wracking thing – especially when you discover some people are unable to attend because of other big events taking place on the exact same day.

That’s what happened to one woman on Reddit, who booked her baby shower without knowing it was the same day as her sister-in-law’s graduation.

The woman explained she doesn’t really get along with her husband’s sister so wasn’t aware of her graduation plans when her own parents organised a baby shower to celebrate her first pregnancy.

In her post, which has since been deleted, she said: “For some backstory, my sister-in-law and I have never really gotten along. There’s never been a huge fight or disagreement, but I always picked up on some sort of hostility. Needless to say, we don’t really talk.

The woman doesn’t want to waste the money her parents spent on her baby shower (stock image)


Getty Images)

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“My husband and I are expecting our first child! We are thrilled and our parents are thrilled as well.

“My parents decided to throw us a baby shower. I texted my husband months ago with the potential date and he said that sounded great and my parents got to planning.

“Over this time, I mentioned the date to my husband on multiple occasions and there was never an issue. It took quite a bit of back and forth with the venue to lock that date in, but it was finally set.

“The caterer was booked – although this is a family friend so they most likely would have been flexible – and invitations started going out. My mum text my mother-in-law letting her know all the details and this is when the ball dropped.

“It turns out my sister-in-law is graduating the same day as the baby shower. She technically graduated last year but wasn’t able to walk the stage due to COVID, and her school just announced they would be doing a makeup ceremony.”

The mum-to-be has since found out her sister-in-law’s school is actually offering two separate time slots for ceremonies, and one of them doesn’t overlap with her baby shower at all.

And while that sounds like a perfect solution, the woman’s sister-in-law doesn’t want to get up early to attend the 10am ceremony.

She added: “As it turns out, her school is offering two separate time slots for the ceremonies: One that would not overlap at all, and one that was basically the same time as the shower.

“I texted my mother-in-law this info and my parents also let her know that they would be happy to foot the bill for a joint graduation party and baby shower where my sister-in-law could invite as many guests as she would like so we could all celebrate together.

“My sister-in-law does not want to get up early for the graduation (it starts at 10 am) and basically told my husband that we did this on purpose and we’re ruining her special day.”

The woman also admitted she feels “awful” for putting her in-laws in a position where they have to choose which event to attend.

But commenters on Reddit backed her decision to push ahead with the baby shower.

One person wrote: “You planned months in advance, your husband knew the dates, you figured out a workaround and something doable, and your sister-in-law doesn’t want to wake up early.”

While another said: “There is a solution, but it’s not being taken because someone doesn’t want to wake up early.”

And a third added: “You didn’t plan this, and you’ve tried to go above and beyond to make it work. Maybe you could suggest letting your mother-in-law plan a smaller baby shower for another time with the family that won’t make it because of the graduation. Either way it’s not your fault.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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