Dear Coleen

My ex-boyfriend left me over a year ago to move in with another woman. He’d been cheating on me with her and I eventually found out about it – I think he was hoping I’d find out so he didn’t have to tell me!

However, he’s been in contact a lot as a friend and we’ve even met up a couple of times. But one day he’ll tell me he’s made a huge mistake letting me go and then I won’t hear from him for weeks, so I have no idea what’s going on in his head.

I’ve tried to move on myself and have been on a few dates, but nothing has worked out.

I was in love with my ex and haven’t met anyone to take his place, so if he asked to move back in, I’d be very tempted to say yes.

Last week, I actually went on a date with a guy I met on a dating app and he was surprisingly lovely – nice, ­handsome, funny. But while I was on this date, my ex texted, asking to come over to talk some things out. It’s like he’s got a radar or something.

I do love him and I miss him, but I know he’s acting like a jerk and I know I deserve better.

Can you help me to see sense?

Coleen says

I can’t make you see sense – you have to do that for yourself – but I can tell you that you’d be better off without him and you should stop being friends and move on with your life.

Yes, it’s hard to switch off loving someone, but I think you need to get a bit angry and then use that anger positively to propel yourself forward.

Your ex cheated on you, expected to stay friends and now he’s messing with your head and leading you to hope you might get back together.

I don’t know why he’s doing this, but he’s a manipulator and a toxic person in your life.

I’m glad you’ve been dating, despite this ex floating like a spectre in the background, and it sounds as if you’ve met someone really nice. Why not give it a go with him?

I promise that when you’re in a good relationship, you won’t look back, the rose-tinted specs will come off and you’ll see your ex for what he is.

Unfollow him, block his calls, don’t reply to messages – do what you have to do to remove him from your life.





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