'I refuse to pay £3k to go to sister-in-law's wedding – my husband is fuming'

A mum has asked whether she’s being ‘unreasonable’ or not to refuse paying £3,000 to attend her sister-in-law’s wedding abroad and insisting her husband pay if he wants to go

A couple sat on the sofa looking upset
The couple are arguing about the wedding (stock photo)

Attending a wedding can end up costing a small fortune when the nuptials are taking place in the UK, with outfits, travel costs and potentially accommodation to pay for.

But when the wedding is abroad, the prices really stack up.

One mum has shared how it’s going to cost around £3,000 for her and her family to attend her sister-in-law’s destination wedding next year.

She’s adamant they can’t afford to go and has told her partner she refuses to fork out for it.

As a result, her husband is fuming and has started being “snippy” with her, so she’s turned to Mumsnet to ask if she’s being “unreasonable” about the whole thing.

It’ll cost them £3,000 to go to the wedding (stock photo)


Getty Images/Westend61)

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Her post read: “My SIL is getting married next year abroad and it will cost us over £2k just for flights and hotel, no food/drinks included so we are looking at about £3k all in. I can’t afford it!

“Bit of background, I’m the main earner and husband recently changed jobs so isn’t earning much now, not that he ever contributed much anyway. Husband wants to go for two weeks term time. Told him I can’t afford it, and I don’t want to take our DC out of school for two weeks! One week I get, it’s her wedding after all.

“Told husband he’s got to sort it, and I’m not paying for it all. Now he’s all snippy with me and just generally talking to me like an a**e.”

She went on to ask if she was being unreasonable to ask him to pay for it.

“He’s had over a year to save, nothing. I put back some money which I had to use as he conveniently didn’t have the cash for a bill that was supposed to be covered by him. I just can’t do it,” she added.

“We have a holiday in the spring, which we moved from last summer due to COVID, I paid for all of that and it took me 18 months. I know I’m the bigger earner but I’m still paying for our f***ing wedding four on and all the debts built through redundancy. Feeling so frustrated, anyone else been in this situation before? So overwhelmed with being responsible for bloody everything!”

Dozens of people responded to the post, with many agreeing she hadn’t done anything wrong.

One person said: “It’s his sister right? He needs to go alone and pay for it himself, for as long as he can afford to pay for which I’m guessing will not be a whole fortnight. This sounds very very annoying, £3k you don’t have is a LOT of money. Even if you had it it’s a lot of money, but you don’t, he can’t expect you to go into more debt and keep grinding to pay this off alone.”

Another wrote: “YANBU. If he really wants to go he will have to get a second job. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You are servicing debt so this kind of extravagance isn’t justifiable, even for a wedding. Anyone who books a wedding abroad knows that some people will be unable to attend.”

A third replied: “It sounds like your DH mistakenly thinks you have a secret money tree in the garden. He’s not a child. He knows the pain of earning a pound. If he wants, then he pays. You’ve already taken on a lot of the burden of earning the household money, keeping the household solvent. You’re the fiscally responsible one, so if you say it can’t be done, he should be respecting and accepting that.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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