Before video chatting with a partner, get on the same page about what each of you want and any boundaries that should be respected. That part can sexy, too, and communicating upfront should help you feel more comfortable going in, says Dr. O. Nelsen, PsyD, sexologist and CEO and founder of San Francisco Intimacy and Sex Therapy Centers. Also, be sure to have fun with it, “similar to how you might be playful and explorative with your body when you’re in physical proximity,” Nelsen says. Allow elements that might be frustrating, like a bad or lost connection, play into the silliness and suspense of it, similar to switching positions in person.
How can I make video chatting with a partner feel more intimate?
Many elements that foster intimacy in person also apply to virtual settings — like lighting, atmosphere, and tone of voice. Nelsen suggests setting your cameras at eye level to give the illusion of being face to face. Voice modulation can go a long way, too, and not just because whispering sounds sexy. “Slowing down your speech and softening your tone tends to activate our parasympathetic nervous systems, so it can help diminish anxiety,” Nelsen says. “It also tends to draw the listener in, so it can invite more intimacy and erotic flow.”
You don’t have to be face to face IRL for sexual interaction to stimulate the body’s natural responses. “You can deeply connect with somebody through video, because you’re still responding to each other with mirror neurons,” Nelsen says. Mirror neurons, which many scientists consider the basis for empathy, explain involuntary responses like yawning or smiling when you see someone else do it. “They are absolutely a major player in erotic and sexual exchanges,” Nelsen says.
What makes for good solo content to upload on sites like OnlyFans?
“No one is going to be the best performer when they first start,” says Raphael. “One way to learn and to get comfortable is really watching a lot of porn,” says Raphael, who recently shared a useful video tutorial on Twitter for getting set up on OnlyFans. It may sound like obvious homework, but watching with an eye toward making your own can be a very different viewing experience. Since you may be thinking of starting an OnlyFans yourself, or have already done so, consuming porn ethically should be a priority. Pay for other people’s personal content, or look for the blue checkmark on PornHub that means performers are getting paid per view, Raphael says.
When you’re first starting out shooting solo content, it can help to actually write out a script so you’re not at a loss for how to fill the time. “Have some kind of beginning, middle, and end,” when it comes to the acts you’ll perform, Raphael says. At the same time, try not to sweat it. “Don’t take yourself too seriously,” she says. “It’s okay to feel weird. Sex is weird and it’s a little silly. Accept that, and you’ll get more and more comfortable.”
How does camming on Chaturbate work? Do I have to show my face? Can I protect my privacy?
Chaturbate is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: an online platform where users live-cam solo shows, while chatting with their viewers via text or directly into the camera. There are systems for following your favorite users, tipping during a show, private messaging, and more. It can also be a good way to promote content on paywall sites like OnlyFans.
It’s not necessary to show your face, and signing up for a free account, either to broadcast or view, doesn’t require personal details like your name or email, just firm acknowledgement that you’re over 18. “It’s totally workable not to show your face on camera,” says CagedJock, who made his way into porn by uploading body shots to Tumblr before eventually growing comfortable enough to include his face in videos.
