The insights below — gathered from a variety of people who think a lot about what it means to be good — are far-reaching. Some suggestions are small, others audacious. Make them your own. Allow them to spark a bit more goodness in you.
9 ways to be good
Be kind.
Harriet Lerner, psychologist and author
“Kindness is at the center of what it means to be good. It may require very little from us, or the opposite. It may require words and action, or restraint and silence. Everything that can be said can be said with kindness. Every tough position we have to take can be taken with kindness. No exceptions. Being a good person requires that we work toward that unrealized world where the dignity and integrity of all human beings, all life, are honored and respected.”
Pay attention.
Brother Chan Phap Dung, senior monk, Plum Village
“In the Buddhist tradition, the training starts with learning how to stop and come back to the present moment and enjoy our breathing. We stop to recognize what is happening within us and around us: our feelings, our thinking, whether our body is relaxed or in tension, who is there in front of us or what are we doing. With repetition, we begin to see and understand ourselves better — and choose to do one thing rather than another.”
Ask hard questions.
The Rev. William J. Barber II, civil rights activist
“As a public theologian, I tend to look at what has lifted us when we found ourselves at our lowest — what has called us to a better place. How are we, as a nation and as a people, using life itself to create good for the poor and broken and captive and for those who are made to feel unaccepted? We must constantly raise that question as we live life — seeking to answer it not only individually, but together. We need to embrace those deepest moral values that call us to, first and foremost, seek love, truth, justice and concern for others.”
Put challenges in perspective.
Dan Ariely, behavioral economist, Duke University
“In Judaism, it says that if you save one person, you can look at yourself as somebody who has saved the whole world. In that regard, what goodness means is to scale the problem down to the size where we can have an impact — and then have the impact. If you think about global warming or poverty, you say to yourself, “I can’t; I can’t solve it.” But if you think about one ton of CO2 or one person in poverty, then we can have an effect.”
Hold yourself accountable.
Rachana Kamtekar, professor of philosophy, Cornell University
“You have to know what your different motivations are, know how strong they are and if you can get some of them to pull against the others. I was a smoker in my 20s and 30s. Like many smokers, I resolved to quit on multiple occasions. When I was 40, I told my son and his buddies that I had been a smoker and had quit. I knew if I ever smoked again, I was going to have to tell them. My aversion to those kids thinking of me as a smoker swamped any desire I had to smoke. When I added to my rational resolution this prospect of something like shame — that I was going to have to face these kids and say, “I am a smoker” — it changed.”
Buy with intention.
Rose Marcario, C.E.O., Patagonia
“We’re facing an existential climate crisis, intractable social issues and unprecedented income inequality. Think of yourself as a citizen instead of a consumer and vote with your dollars. Buy organic because, with chemical agriculture, we are doing irrevocable damage to topsoil, pollinators, oceans and rivers due to chemical runoff. And buy quality. Make sure that whoever you buy from takes responsibility for the entire life cycle of their product. Most importantly, buy only what you need. Keep your stuff longer and keep it in use longer.”
