Leah Marie Mazur was devastated after her second marriage ended in 2019, when she was just 35-years-old.
She recalls feeling bad about herself, initially believing this made her ‘damaged goods’ — but she’s since realised this isn’t the case.
‘The biggest misconceptions about divorce are that it means you’re selfish or a failure,’ she says. ‘That couldn’t be further from the truth.
‘You are responsible for your own happiness. If your marriage is negatively affecting your well-being, you need to do something about it.’
This is exactly what she did and the second divorce proved to be a valuable ‘wake-up’ call for Leah, now 41, as it gave her time to work on healing herself.
During this time, she realised that traumatic incidents in her past — including the loss of her mother at 16 and the subsequent loss of her father five years later — had led her to jump from one relationship to another so she wouldn’t be alone.
‘I have no siblings and had to pick up the pieces by the time I was 21.
‘Between these huge losses, I found myself in a relationship that left me even more broken. I struggled with abandonment, low self-esteem, and had no idea who I was,’ Leah, from Buffalo, New York, explained.
After her first marriage ended, she rushed back into dating to distract herself from the way she was feeling and quickly found herself in a new relationship.
‘Two years later, we broke up, and I was back on the dating apps, terrified of being alone and worried no one would want me with all my “baggage”.
‘I met someone online, he moved in within three weeks, and we were engaged eight months later. It wasn’t enough time to get to know each other.’
Ultimately Leah decided to end that marriage, and that decision proved life-changing for her.
‘I knew I needed to focus on myself and my healing. I started practising mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and cultivating self-awareness. This helped me understand why I settled in my marriages and made better choices moving forward.
‘I learned to love and forgive myself and meet my own needs for the first time.’
But it wasn’t only Leah that benefitted from the two divorces, as she decided to use her own experiences to launch a business helping other women going through marriage breakdowns.
She now works as a divorce recovery coach, helping women who are struggling to learn to thrive in the new chapter of their lives.
‘During Covid while working from home, I learned about life coaching. The more I learned, the more I knew this was my calling,’ she said.
‘I took online courses, got certified, and started my own coaching business, focusing on helping women through the divorce recovery process.
‘I knew exactly what they were experiencing — the guilt, shame, feelings of failure, and loss of self-esteem.
‘I wanted to share the tools I learned and the mistakes I made to help others find the light at the end of the tunnel. It gives me so much purpose and makes everything I’ve gone through feel worth it.’
As part of her role, Leah often gets asked how long someone should wait before dating again after a divorce, and she has some choice words for anyone in this position.
‘I don’t believe there is an exact formula as to how much time you should wait before dating again, but I do believe it’s important to understand your intentions. Are you dating because you’re lonely, bored, need a self-esteem boost, or afraid of being alone?
‘Those aren’t the right ingredients for building a strong foundation in a relationship.
‘If you feel whole and happy on your own, and you’d like to date because you’re looking for someone who adds value to your life, that’s a great sign that you may be ready.’
Leah has practised what she preached and has found love again. She’s been happily married since June 2021 and claims it’s the ‘healthiest’ relationship she’s ever been in.
‘I took the time to focus on myself and heal my emotional wounds. I got to a place where I felt whole, happy, and fulfilled, and that’s when we met,’ she says.
‘I believe we date at the same level as our self-esteem.
‘When you know your worth, love yourself, and know what you bring to the table, you’ll have higher standards, stronger deal breakers, and attract healthier partners. It always starts with you.’
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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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