You’ve heard of OkCupid’s “I don’t want to see or be seen by straight people” filter. Now get ready for “I only want to see and be seen by straight people,” courtesy of a new dating app for conservatives that’s launching next month, backed by gay conservative billionaire Peter Thiel.
That’s right — the Paypal creator spent a precious $1.5 million on The Right Stuff, an app that Thiel himself would not be able to use. The app was “created for conservatives to connect in authentic and meaningful ways,” as an antidote to dating apps that “have gone woke,” according to copy on their own site. Though the app only allows for heterosexual matches, according to The Hill, the app’s creators, who are largely ex-Trump staffers, may expand to include same-sex relationships in the future (#equality).
The app released a promotional video last week starring Ryann McEnany, the younger sister of Trump White House secretary Kayleigh McEnany. McEnany explains that the app is invite only, with a “premium” option that is available to women for free if they invite others to use it; men will have to pay an undisclosed fee. Naturally, those are also the only two gender options on the app, a fact that is emphasized heavily throughout the app’s promotional materials.
Even though conservatives are so upset by the mere presence of pronouns that listing them isn’t an option on the app, The Right Stuff purports to be for “people who aren’t offended by everything.” There are plenty of profile customization options, including fun little prompts such as “a random fact I love about America is” and “favorite liberal lie.” There’s also “Alexa, change the” as a prompt, to which McEnany answers “president,” a “joke” that is so hilarious that it also appears on the app’s website.
Naturally, the video only features white people and maybe one ethnically ambiguous guy, but Conservatives of Color™ need not fear. All of the example profiles may be an Aryan wet dream, but the website features two (2) tiny icons of a Black man and a brown man under the “likes you” section.
Despite the fact that there have been numerous failed conservative dating apps that have launched in the past half decade, app co-founder Daniel Huff, who worked in Trump’s Department of Housing and Urban Development, told The Hill that such an app “has really not been done before.”
“It’s an important, underserved market,” Huff said. “Liberals own the education, media corporations, and we can’t let them control our personal relationships.” (This despite the fact that conservatives control the legislatures of 23 states and have launched a nationwide crusade on LGBTQ+ people’s rights to have personal relationships or exist in public.) Controlling personal relationships does, however, sound like a conservative ideal, given that right-wing Supreme Court justices have nixed a persons’s right to choose when they have children and might be turning an eye towards marriage equality next.
If you’re eligible for The Right Stuff and are reading this website for some reason, you can sign up to have what will almost definitely be the worst sex of your life starting in September.
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