WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Full immunity from Donald J. Trump will require two doses of impeachment, Dr. Anthony Fauci has advised.

“One impeachment was a good start, but it didn’t get it done,” the esteemed virologist said. “If you want to keep this terrible situation from coming back, you’re gonna need that second dose.”

Acknowledging that two doses of impeachment, taken a year apart, have never been tested before, Fauci said, “We’re in an emergency situation here.”

The epidemiologist said that people are working on the second dose of impeachment “around the clock,” and that it could be ready as soon as Monday.

“It’s truly remarkable how fast they’ve been able to come up with it,” he said. “We’re talking warp speed.”



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