“ ‘Give Me Bread and Roses’: Ethical Solutions to the Starvation of Oscar Between Breakfast at 8 A.M. and Dry Snacks at 10 A.M.”
“ ‘Ghost in the Machine’: Learning Curves Regarding What a Laptop Is and Why It’s So Important to Him That Oscar Not Touch It”
“ ‘Fear Thy Neighbor’: What Is the Deal with the Dog Downstairs and Do We Think It Can Get Up Here if It Wanted to or What?”
“ ‘. . . the Abyss Gazes Back’: Doomed Investigations Into What It’s Like Under His Bed, 2019 to Present”
“ ‘Take the Pink Pill’: Linear Associations Between When He Forgets to Take His Meds and How Many Times He Watches ‘The Matrix Reloaded’ That Day”
“ ‘Still Waters Run Deep’: A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Having Three Water Dishes for Oscar Instead of Two”
“ ‘Did I Just Fucking Hear Fucking Car Tires on Wet Pavement Outside or Did I Not?’: Post-Traumatic Stress Within the Ex-Street-Cat Population”
“ ‘Sunrise, Sunset’: Inverse Proportionality and Oscar’s Warm Nap Spot on the Floor Throughout the Day”
“ ‘Is the Printer Pooping? Does the Printer Poop? Is That All It Does?’: A Three-Part Study”
“ ‘Chasing the Unchaseable’: Interrogating His Misuse of the Laser Pointer When Drunk”
“ ‘Crisis of Conscience, Conscience of Crisis’: Colonial Expansion of Nascent Midwestern States in Consideration of Global Trends Regarding Westward Movement, the Writings of Thomas Jefferson, and Eventual Representation in Mainstream Media, 1698 to 1776” (Oscar is a clever boy.)
