Despite the sexual revolution and feminism, women still struggle to orgasm across the globe.

There isn’t a woman alive who was encouraged to explore her sexuality as a teen. Shame, pornography and a lack of information about sex keep us from pleasure.

Shame is the ultimate orgasm killer. The slut stigma and the virginity myth limit our sexual choices and weigh us down with guilt. If you’re lucky enough to escape the sexual double standard, then there’s the beauty myth. We’re never good enough.

Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, Goop’s ‘orgasm whisperers’

The fastest way let go of shame is to experience orgasm on a regular basis on your own. When we touch ourselves, we learn about our bodies so that we can communicate our sexual needs. The endorphins and oxytocin released during an orgasm help us connect to ourselves and appreciate our bodies. Masturbation is the foundation of self-love. 


Porn acts as our sex ed, but it’s entertainment based on the male model of sexual response. Our sex organ is much more complicated than a penis.

We have an internal clitoral system – 8,000 nerve endings and as much erectile tissue as men. We need at least 30-40 minutes of clitoral stimulation to orgasm but we can keep on going for hours, days or weeks. We are bottomless pits of sexual pleasure. 

Every woman can orgasm using the Betty Dodson method. Lie on your back with your legs bent – feet on the ground, hip distance a part. Use an oil-based lubricant like almond oil and practice massaging your vulva: your clitoris and labia. Stimulate your clitoris with your fingers sensing where you are the most sensitive. Then slowly penetrate your vagina. Breathe in, rock your pelvis forward, squeeze your pelvic floor muscle then exhale and release the muscle. Keep stimulating your clitoris. 

It sounds complicated but it’s like a dance. Clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration will get you there every time.



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