Culture

British Mystery Shows That I Would Watch


“The Hot Vicar”

Samuel Wellington is a man of the cloth, with six-pack abs underneath it. When he’s not delivering sermons or explaining the difference between a vicar and a priest, he’s investigating crimes in the sleepy village of Helenmirrenshire. The reverend has a knack for solving complex mysteries but has yet to crack the biggest case of all—it’s 2020, so why are there only white people living and working in this town?

“Lonely Lady Detective”

Set in England during the interwar period, the show focusses on Mary Wordsworth, a genial but lonely spinster residing in the coastal town of Biscuits-by-the-Sea. What she lacks in sex appeal, she makes up for in amateur sleuthing skills and an ability to intimidate suspects with a mere glimpse of her unmarried face. She can also slip into crime scenes and police precincts undetected, as her spinster status renders her invisible to society. In the series finale, Mary reveals that she is twenty-nine years old.

“Baker’s Dozen (Murders)”

The cozy hamlet of Shortbread-upon-Avon is put on high alert when residents begin receiving anonymous death threats. The town’s only hope is Liam Baker, an amateur sleuth/professional bread baker/former Royal Air Force commander with a dark past. (Viewers should watch the eight-hour prequel, “Active Yeast on Duty,” for his full backstory.) In the season finale, a thrilling cat-and-mouse chase takes place in his bakery, ending with a thirty-minute climactic scene in which Liam sensuously kneads dough.

“Not My Cup of Tea”

Viewers will be on the edge of their seats as they watch characters pour cups of tea and then sip cups of tea. When the protagonists aren’t putting a kettle on, they’re gazing out windows or tending their gardens. Aside from the occasional character being poisoned by cyanide, this is a very relaxing show.

“No. 1 Suspect” Series 45

In this long-running series, the private investigator Andrew Beefeater interrogates murderers and thieves, frequently muttering his iconic catchphrase, “You’re my No. 1 suspect.” When he’s not chasing bad guys, he’s drinking from a bottomless bottle of whiskey and snapping at his female assistant, who hasn’t received a raise in years. The series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger—might there be other types of complex characters we could devote an entire TV series to?

“Where Do I Know That Actor From?”

During the pilot episode, you’ll ask yourself, “Is that the guy from ‘Game of Thrones’?” You’ll then spend the entire season wondering if it is indeed Robb Stark or just someone who looks a lot like Robb Stark. Midseason twist: the actor is actually from “The Crown.”

“The Midwife Searching for Jack the Ripper”

When Mary the Midwife isn’t investigating Jack the Ripper’s gruesome murders, she’s delivering babies in London’s East End. This show is basically for fans of “Call the Midwife” whose main gripe with that television drama is that it isn’t a murder mystery.

“Seriously, Has Anyone Looked Into Why This Quaint Town Has So Many Murders?”

Each episode asks viewers to suspend disbelief that a small, rural village could be the site of more murders per capita than most large nations but to reject the possibility that this same village could also be racially and ethnically diverse. Actually, this show has been on the air for far too long.

“Maths and Murders”

A university maths professor moonlights as a private detective because it’s hard to make a living in the Margaret Thatcher era. His sidekick is an American exchange student who excels at solving proofs but fails to remember that in England you say “maths,” not “math.”



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