Dear Readers: Because of syndication scheduling, I write and submit my columns two weeks in advance of publication. Due to this time lag, the Q and A’s will not reflect the latest information about the world-wide COVID-19 pandemic we are currently facing.

Dear Amy: For years before my dad died, he repeatedly told his four adult kids that he would leave his (small, rundown) family home to Brother #1.

Sister and I agreed with him, as this brother had need of it (low-income, with children) and the rest of us didn’t.

Brother #2 was livid and hasn’t spoken to us for three years. (By the way, he is wealthy — owns a boat, enjoys multiple vacations each year, has a $20,000 racing bike — and had no need for the home.)

Fast-forward to now. Brother #1 (now in the house) has a seriously ill newborn baby. I flew home from Europe, sister traveled across the country to be there.

We did school runs, grocery shopping, etc. to allow my brother and his wife to spend time in the hospital. (The baby is still in the hospital, but is getting better.) Brother #2 — who lives 15 minutes away — did nothing. He sent a short text message when my brother and sister told him about this health crisis, but no phone call, no offer to help — nothing!

I respect Brother #2’s wishes, and I try not to judge him. Maybe there were issues between my dad and him that I know nothing about. Yet I am astonished that even a gravely ill newborn baby didn’t elicit a different response.

Now I am starting to judge him. I think that he’s just a jerk and not worth a moment’s further thought.

I don’t like having something akin to hate on my heart. Am I missing a way forward here?

— Confused Brother

Dear Brother: One way forward would be for you to reach out in a more proactive way, where you would be hopeful of receiving some clarity, while remaining realistic about a murky outcome.





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