My earliest memory would be when I was about four or five, walking into school on my first day. I don’t remember much about it, though. My brother Jamie and me had some difficult moments growing up: our parents getting divorced, and obviously Dunblane [the school shooting in 1996]. But we played tons of tennis and had a very active childhood.
If I could go back in time, it would be to Barcelona when I was 15 and training there. It was the first time I had freedom. Some people get it when they finish school or move to university. I loved it there and made a lot of friends.
People see me on TV and think I am very intense, moody and difficult. But take me away from the court and I’m pretty laid-back. I don’t have a temper. I don’t break things; I don’t punch walls; I don’t shout and scream. But when I’m on the tennis court, I do.
I’m not a massive fan of flying, especially when I can’t see what’s happening in the cockpit and you’re not in control. I know it’s completely irrational, because it’s so safe in comparison to driving.
The only player I was intimidated by – and I don’t know why, exactly – was Marat Safin. I played him when I was young at Cincinnati, in 2005. Sometimes I’d speak to him and he’d be nice, and sometimes – I don’t know whether he didn’t like me or not – I found it a bit tricky.
I would like to stay young because the thing I love doing the most is playing and competing at tennis. As you get older, the amount of time you get to keep doing that becomes less. I wish I’d lived a bit more in the moment when I was younger, getting the most out of these amazing cities that we go to.
I’m neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I’m a realist. I want to be given what the reality of the situation is, not someone trying to put a positive spin on it – or a negative spin. In life, sometimes things are shit and sometimes things are really good. But things aren’t good all of the time.
There are a few things that depress me – animal cruelty, I don’t get that. And when people who are in bad situations are getting treated horribly by some of the media – people who are trying to come to the UK on rafts and boats, for instance. They’re coming from countries that we potentially had an involvement in, disrupting and unsettling. They’re risking their lives and their family’s lives. How bad a situation would you have to be in to take that decision?
I wish there was a God, but I don’t believe there is one. If there was a God, surely he or she would stop the suffering in the world. God would always be taught to us as this incredible thing, but why would so much suffering be allowed to go on for so long? I don’t get that.
People have said some terrible things to me, but I don’t let it bother me. But there was one time. I had just lost in the semis at Wimbledon [against Rafael Nadal in 2011] and was walking down the street with my wife. Some guys drove past and screamed, “You fucking loser!” It was a period in my career where I was already doubting myself. I found it hurtful – .
The last time I cried was when I went over to New York this summer. I hadn’t travelled since last November and had been around my kids for seven months.
People ask me, who will retire first: Federer, Djokovic, Nadal or myself? I’d say Federer. He’s 39. But who knows? If something happened to my hip, for instance, I couldn’t do anything about it.
Andy Murray is wearing AMC, a tennis line created by Andy and Castore (castore.com)
